Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!!!

Time has gone too fast... I have yet to accomplish anything meaningful in my life. I have yet to learn how to be in love again... I have yet to learn to trust men... So 2012 is coming in an hour soon.

Today is the most pathetic New Year's Eve I have ever had. Being alone at home counting down with my dates - laptop, TV & iPhone to keep me company. Where are my friends when I need them most? What a bad choice I made. If and if and if...

Today is the day I turn a year older... But then, I'm all by myself. I believe with the cough syrup I had I dun feel that bad after all. Good to feel drowsy.

May the Lord's Angels with me at this moment of depression...

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012.

One year later...

Today is the one year anniversary of your death. We may not be together right now. However, you will always remain in my heart, as well as in the hearts of all the people who loved you. I will always love you. Please enjoy yourself in heaven and continue to watch over me. I will never forget you for as long as I live.

Time flies so fast, that each day of my life is becoming so precious. I long to move on with a meaningful life with love. It will be a new beginning. For the Lord had bore my pain, my suffering and my grief at the Calvary. I will continue to praise the Lord for His mercy to bring me peace and love from today onwards. Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen.

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord! Our Heavenly Father answers prayers! He is magnificent! He is awesome! He is good to me. I want to continue to trust in Him & His goodness.

I'll be embarking on an awesome career journey wef April 11, 2011... A career dream came so true... after years of perseverance, and not giving up to find the the right path. By God's grace all things are made possible, if I dare to continue dreaming BIG. All thanks to the Lord!

That's for a career goal I have in the Lord. As for new friendship matters...

I hope for a friendship that may last a little longer, since I'm afraid to fall in love again, and hence I need some ample time to know a person better. But lately, I observed almost most of them seem lack of patience and give up easily.

For the whole month of March, it had been a blessing to meet people of diverse backgrounds. I never knew I'm being blessed with a few dates. However, those dates I've attended, I felt so "clueless/ heartless/sorry"... I do not seem to have any feeling. It's like hollow with no heart in my body. Will someone out there able to mold a new heart for me? Will I ever be happy in love again? Will I ever be truly loved by someone again? My dear late Jerry, my heart has turned into ashes on the day you left me... Blown together with you. When I was with you, I just knew you would be the one I want to spend my life with. Will I ever be sure about who I want to spend my life with again? Umm... I really feel so "robotic" in dating, though it is something new & challenging at my age. Hahahaha... Well, I just don't know how to be in love again. I just don't know how to enjoy the company of a man. I'm also being skeptical towards men. Umm... Men, please forgive me & allow me to have little assurance as I have so many questions in my head. Is he genuine? Will he be interested in me for my personality, or physical appearance? *sigh* O'Lord, I rest my love matter in Your hands. May He guide the man I love to mold a new heart for me, at His will, at His timing. O'Lord, I will wait patiently. Ummm... I believe Heavenly Father knows what is best for me as He plans to prosper me & not harm me, He plans to give me hope & future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

It's been awhile I had stopped writing... Just a quiet life I try to lead... Almost 8 months has passed... However, when Valentine's Day came this year, the emptiness without your laughter, your love, your smile, has brought me to the cemetery instead of restaurant, movie or beach. My dear, O'darling... my 1st trip to your burial site since you departed... Happy Valentine's Day darling. Hope you like the white flowers. You are sadly missed by all of us...

Another mourning...

My nephew came out to the earth as early as 7 month on November 16th 2010 in the morning. A premature baby. My younger sister, Rosalin, felt relieve her baby is out of her tummy. She is still recuperating in Hospital up to today. Was told that Baby Isaac Loh Wei Cheng has decided to go to a better place yesterday afternoon, November 22nd 2010. Baby Isaac fought for his life in incubator for 6 days before calling it off for good. Another grief... Another mourning... Sigh... Ah Ee Serena will always have Baby Isaac in her memory... Ah Ee Serena will always love Baby Isaac spiritually...

Lots of challenges ahead of me...

On Sunday the 7th, I sprained my lower back when assisting the kids of age 3-4 to toilet from Sparklight (Lighthouse Sunday School). Was in pain, but I prayed to God for easing my pain which worked for next few days. Went for acupuncture on Thursday the 11th. Boy, do I feel so numb with the needles poking at 7 positions. I felt better and text messaged my sister, Rosalin & my dad, so that they will not worry about my back. Then I received news which I never expected from dad, Rosalin has been hospitalised for vomiting. I was shocked and I kept praying in my heart for God's mercy. I cannot take it anymore, if anything happen to my sister. I'm not even over with Jerry's demise, and here come another heartbreaking news about my sister's condition. She is in her late 2nd trimester of pregnancy. Dad shared about my sister's condition which sound quite severe. For 2 nights, I've been crying... I just can't stop my tears from flowing, thinking about Jerry, my sister, and her unborn baby. What have I done to see them going thru such suffering? Seeing my parents suffering also hurt me so deeply down in my heart. I cannot take it. I ask my Lord, may the suffering be upon me and not my family. John 14:14 - If I ask anything in Jesus's name, He will do it. At the moment of darkness and pain, I could not find anyone to talk to... None other than God. I spent hours talking to God, crying out to Him... it's almost like half cup full of my tears. And now my eyes are swollen from so much tearing.

Today, the 13th on Saturday, I called my dad to know how's my sister doing. At 12pm, my sis has gone in to the operating theatre. Oh Lord... Be with her. Be mercy. I waited for calls. Sobbing and blowing my nose... At 4+pm, my dad called to said the endoscopy was successful. The specialists detected the cause of the problem. A twisted intestine that caused her days of constipation and vomiting, even to cause the baby almost death. Mother and baby are well when the specialist came out of the op theatre to inform my parents. Thank God for His endless mercy. Thank God for hearing my cries. I cried with joy thanking God non-stop. Praise the Lord!!! Thank you Lord Jesus. All the glory to You.

Pulau Ubin on 5 Nov 2010

[Initially, our destination was to Pengerang, Johor for seafood lunch.]

The excitement to get out of Singapore during the public holiday... spoilt by the weather - rain rain rain... and yet my friends and I went ahead. Our meeting point was at Tampines MRT at 830am, (not everybody turned up on time though. Haha.) We boarded bus 29 for our trip to Changi Point Ferry Terminal. As we were on the way to Changi Point Ferry Terminal, there was a heavy downpour. Boohoohoo... Our concern was the sea may be too chompy during this heavy downpour that we decided to wait till the rain stopped and we had light breakfast at Changi Village Market & Foodcourt then. After the rain stopped, we walked to the Jetty point (5mins walk from the foodcourt) to find out about the trip to Pengerang. Time checked! 11am. Oh my, with the piles of passports before ours were like 19 batches of 12 passports. 12 pax per boat before the boat will depart. Imagine how long we were to wait if we were to insist of having seafood lunch at Pengerang. The journey to Pengerang estimated about an hour. The waiting time estimated 2-3hrs. And the last boat from either Pengerang or Singapore side is 4pm. Clock ticking... Wait or not to wait. BANG! We decided to change venue to Pulau Ubin. No need passport, as Pulau Ubin belongs to Singapore. The Q to board the bumboat heading to the island was very long indeed but it kept moving fast... Time checked! 1115am. Q................... Time checked! 1140am. Alas! Finally boarded a bumboat. Splash! Splash! The wave hitting the boat. The boat ride started. Wooohoooo! Click! Click! Click! (My camera kept making so much noises). Time checked! 1205pm. That was a fast ride. Finally reached the jetty of the island, and my precious stomach started growling... At the same time I was so excited about this new place I was about to explore... (imagine, after being in Singapore for 9+ years) After ordering our food, an hour or so later, we were so happy to enjoy a simple lunch within 20 minutes. There were a very large crowd at the restaurant due to the public holiday - Deepavali. Very well understood and kept being patient with the staff there. Hahaha...

The curiousity on my face regarding this island. What are there to see? What can we do? How long to walk? Walk walk walk... We walked for almost 5hrs, click click click snap snap snap... with the rain pouring, then stopped, then pouring again. What a way to have both hands holding umbrella & camera. A great burnout of calories after the amazing long walk. We left the island about 510pm, and had our dinner at the same place as the morning breakfast - Changi Village Market & Foodcourt. I started feeling soreness on both my legs. (>_<) Time checked! 8pm. Craved for Korean ice cream. Had it with my friend at Tampines Mall, and window-shopped... (another round of walking.) Finally home at 930pm.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww.... My legs are killing me now, emotionally & physically. Pray me well. Nitezzz.

[Photos will be uploaded soon.]